I’m going to PROM … at 42 !!!

taraprom.jpg It’s been an exciting weekend!!

Exciting Event #1

I got asked to prom on Saturday morning.

And I cannot wait to go…

This is not your garden variety high school prom. It’s a 1980’s themed prom. (Okay, it’s a fundraiser.)

My friend ‘TJ’ already has her pretty, bubble gum pink, vintage 1980’s dress. She even tried it on and sent me the picture.

Of course this means I have to find a dress. I said as much to Darling Daughter.

Daughter: Can’t this be about MY prom???????

Darling Daughter said this in her best, whiny voice–as she laughed at me.

Daughter: You’re stealing my thunder. It’s going to be about your dress, your shoes and your jewelry…

Really, very little in my life is about me. And so I’m running with this one. Going all out. I had fantastic 80’s hair. A giant mass of curls, sprayed in place with Stiff Stuff. The biggest problem is that I’m a tad bit chunkier than I was in high school, which may make it more challenging to find a dress. This brings me to the next thing…

Exciting Event #2

I’m officially in training. Darling Daughter signed herself, Son and I up for The Color Run. Daughter is Team Captain and the event comes to Cleveland in June.

color runFrom the website…

HOW DOES IT WORK?

The Color Run™ 5k paint race event is a one of a kind experience that is less about speed and more about enjoying a color crazy day with your friends and family. For our events, it is all about participants of all different speeds, ages, shapes, and sizes toeing the start line. Whether you are a casual morning mall walker or an Olympic athlete, the 3 miles of The Color Run™ course will be the most enjoyable real estate you’ve traveled in a VERY long time.

Apparently, the this is The Happiest 5K on the Planet. Those signed up wear white t-shirts and have paint thrown at them as they run (or walk) the course. It looks like fun–people dressed up in headbands, crazy sunglasses, tube socks, etc.

Even thought there are no times, no winners/losers and it’s all about the FUN–I’m not eager to come in LAST. Being last is never fun.

So I must  get more in shape. (I could hardly be less in shape…) Right now my shape is round.

Our team name?

The Misfits.

Darling Daughters description of our half as#ed team; some fit teenage boys, one fat old lady and a group of girls somewhere in between.

And yes, I’m the old lady. When Daughter created the team, she left it open so that others can register online–and join our team. I’m hoping that there is at least one other, old, chunky adult at the starting line with me. (So far, I’ve got one friend who has volunteered to throw paint on runners as they pass…much appreciated MB)

One of my favorite team names as I scanned the list: A Running Joke

So to begin my training, I’m going hiking in the woods with Aunt Kate and the dogs today.

After all, I’ve got a prom dress to fit into…

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NOTE: Those not signed up to follow this blog, might want to get signed up. I’ll post photos of the 80’s PROM here in mid-April. With any luck I’ll talk my friends at Home James! Limousine Service into picking our group up in their vintage white limo. It looks just like the Limousine’s we hired to take us to prom in the 1980’s. Except it’s been updated and rolls with a modern sound system…

I’m falling apart in my old(er) age …

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I sort of knew it. But its been confirmed. (Again.) Thankfully, I’m happy so I’ve got that going for me. Obviously, I’m too old to be a doctor, to go into the military and to be a police officer. Even if I … Continue reading

Happy (42nd) Birthday to me…

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Today is my birthday. I actually started getting gifts toward the end of last week. I’ve got some extra cash, cupcakes, a massage, a pedicure. And from daughter, my favorite perfume. And a man? Daughter went shopping over the weekend. … Continue reading

Single, Over 40 & Online Dating

Ugh.

There seems to be a constant stream of advertising to promote online dating services.

Or maybe I notice because I am single. Same as taking note of car commercials when we need to buy a car. Weight loss commercials when we are chubby.

Confession. I’m terrified of online dating.

I’m not afraid of meeting new people. I do that all the time. Nor do I fear rejection. Been rejected and survived—even see the benefits of it in hindsight. And I’m not afraid of putting my information ‘out there.’ Thanks to the internet, we are ALL kind of ‘out there’ anyway. And I typically only write, email or say things that I would say directly to a person, or admit to saying. That wouldn’t embarrass me (or others) if they were on a billboard.  Life is more simple that way. Straightforward.

So it isn’t a privacy issue. Or that I am a single, divorced, mother of teenagers. Just a hair over 40. All of that statistically makes dating more complicated. But none of it bothers me.

Quotes and claims from a couple of well-known sites:

eHarmony – #1 Trusted Online Dating Site for Singles

Unlike traditional dating websites, eHarmony matches compatible men and women based on 29 Dimensions of Compatibility that are predictors of long-term relationship success. To begin your eHarmony experience, register now and complete your Relationship Questionnaire. Once you’ve completed the questionnaire, you will receive your FREE Personality Profile and our Matching System will begin prescreening singles against your profile.

Match.com – The Leading Online Dating Site for Singles and Personals

The Match.com site promotes taking a personality test with Chemistry.com. Amarnath Thombre, Match.com’s vice-president of strategy and the keeper of the site’s matching algorithm said this online:

We don’t pretend to know who is right for you, but we use mathematics to quickly learn how your complexity shows itself on the site, we are like a bartender who is always observing particularly which types of people are talking to each other and hitting it off.

Seems to be a whole lot of testing, analysis and psychology going on.

My (quirky?) fear…

What if I take the personality profiles and ‘tests’ then get matched with a series of fu#kwits? If they are my Perfect match, then I am a fu#kwit, as well. And I’ll have confirmation of it.

So, it isn’t so much a fear of online dating. It’s more about the ‘test results.’

If I avoid the sophisticated dating websites–and the ‘high tech’ surveys and personality profiles–then I can keep the illusion that I am a sane, normal, person. Because who the computer matches me with surely reflects me–especially if I am completely honest when I take all the ‘tests.’

And even if I’m not honest, these sites are designed to ‘catch’ the liars. And also those who think they are being truthful…

For example, I say I’m attracted to dark-haired men and that money/career aren’t important as long as Mr. Perfect is ‘nice.’ But then I only view profiles of gray-haired men. Many photographed behind the wheels of  their expensive sports cars. The jig is up and the computer is onto me…

So I’m NOT doing any online dating. No thank you. Maybe I am as self-evolved as I want to be just now. And these sites are going to match crazy with crazy.

But what if I miss out on meeting the man of my dreams? Getting engaged. Or married again? (Lord help me…)

I guess I’ll take my chances.

A FINAL THOUGHT…

Where’s the story?

“You two seem soooo happy. How did you guys meet?”

Well…we sat down at our respective computers. Spent about an hour filling out a series of online forms, profiles and tests. Paid our fees. Got our passwords, then a list of Perfect matches. I looked at his photo and bio. He looked at my photo and bio. And we just KNEW. The computer cross referencing was spot on!!

OR:

Her Story: I paged through hundreds of profiles. And there he was. He loves kids and dogs. Cooking. Spending time with family and friends. Going on picnics. Watching the sunset. Loves butterflies, unicorns and rainbows. Blah, blah, blah…

His Story: She was the ONLY one who responded to me.

Online dating isn’t for me. I’ll stick to meeting who I meet, dating who I date. Taking one day at a time. Winging it. For now, anyway…

Note to Readers: Comment away. But please don’t point out my oddities and shortcomings. Or tell me I’m riding the crazy train. (I’d rather not know) In other words, don’t burst my bubble!

Fifty Shades Darker (and The Ice Cream Social)

I didn’t run out and buy the second book after I read Fifty Shades of Grey. But a friend had a copy of Fifty Shades Darker (Book II) and I spent part of Wednesday in a lounge chair. Poolside.

My afternoon plan? To flip over once in a while. A few cat naps. Some snacking. Maybe a dip in the pool now and again when I got hot.

I had the time and the book. So I began Darker…

But I stopped at the vanilla ice cream scene.

Or what I call The Ice Cream Social. It was ‘social’ in that there was interaction between Mr. Grey, Miss Steele and a tub of ice cream.

(In my family, we jokingly refer to such interactions as ‘social time’ or ‘socializing’)

At 41, I’m probably too old for The Ice Cream Social. Though I know it’s supposed to be steamy. And I know I lack focus, but I couldn’t stay with that scene. Could NOT get past who was cleaning up the mess.

Maybe The Ice Cream Social fantasy is kind of like the beach. Seems romantic, until you get sand in places sand wasn’t meant to be…

In my world, if somebody saunters into the bedroom with a tub of ice cream—they best have two spoons. Maybe even a couple of bowls.

And the flavor is NOT vanilla, unless there is a side of hot fudge sauce.

My (future) dreamboat should take note: mint chocolate chip, chocolate swirl, black raspberry, strawberry, whatever. Anything more fun than vanilla–Unless the vanilla has toppings…

And I think I would rather eat my bowl of ice cream out outside. On a deck or porch. Preferably before or after ‘social time.’ There’s no call to fling ice cream about the bedroom. Or let a perfectly good tub melt on the nightstand and/or run down the side of it. For ice cream to (potentially) drip into the carpet fibers. Making the carpet stink anytime the weather gets humid. For years to come.

I mean, the author never said WHAT Mr. Grey did with the tub of ice cream. I doubt he spared a moment to run it back to the freezer. And he surely didn’t hang onto it while  ‘socializing?’  Or tuck it under his arm like a football?

Mr. Grey, with his turmoil, trauma and difficulties isn’t the man of my dreams. 

He’s far too complicated to appeal to me. The drama would drain me. I’d be perpetually exhausted, my stomach tied in knots.

Yes. I need there to be chemistry. And that’s either there or it’s not. But there can be plenty of chemistry, without all the gut twisting agony.

My future dreamboat has a sense of humor, is kind to children (even teenagers), animals, family and friends. He accepts me as I am, as I would accept him as he is. Easy to laugh. Difficult to anger. A man who can roll with what life deals him (and us). And maybe see the humor in it? Or at least try to?

Maya Angelou is definitely onto something…

Anyways, this paragon wouldn’t mind eating meals at a new dining table every couple of months–or every couple of weeks. And he would enjoy (or at least tolerate without complaint) car rides and long road trips with The Red Dog’s head on the console.

Or in his face once in a while.

Alas, my future fella need not fly about in helicopters, or drive fancy cars as Mr. Grey does. I have no great desire to eat on rooftops. Or to attend flashy parties.

From the examples of normal, healthy relationships I’ve seen, when a relationship is ‘right’ it is simple. On some intrinsic level, it just works.

I’m just not understanding all the fuss surrounding Mr. Grey and Miss Steele. Or The Ice Cream Social. Or their relationship….

I am at a crossroads with Fifty Shades Darker.

Do I keep reading and hope it gets better? Or find something else to do with my time?