Aurora, Colorado

This morning, I woke to a very, very sad story on the news.

Once again, families will never be the same…

Right now, the facts aren’t in. The investigation is far from complete. Nobody can confirm how many were injured, passed away or how they died. We don’t know the back story of the killer, his circumstances, how he got the weapons or what drove him to murder.

We haven’t heard from grieving families. Cannot put faces to those killed. There are no photos rolling across TV screens. Not yet. But that will come.

And when it does, it will reach into our hearts. We’ll not be able to express the depth of our sadness. There will be no words…

The Blame Game…

In the search for answers, there is always blame. People blame violence in movies, television and video games. Or on religion. Either lack of religious beliefs. Or a ‘wrong’ belief system. Then there’s the economy with its ebbs and flows. Lack of jobs, financial constraints that create desperation. Or the cost of education—making school systems inadequate, college out of reach.

Blaming is a way to identify the ‘problem.’ Which often helps people to assure themselves that  ‘these things’ can’t happen to them. That they are safe.

The Bottom Line… (Some will like me for this. Some will hate me.)

Whenever I see tragedy or young people acting out—I cannot help but wonder at my generation’s parenting skills. Fact is, we seem to be raising some angry children.

Generations before us made plenty of mistakes when raising their children. And I’m quite sure I’ve made, will make or am making my share of mistakes in raising my own children.

But I’m thinking it comes down to stability. Many children these days don’t have it. They run back and forth between houses and families—never quite being ‘part’ of anything. Never quite having a home base.  Something solid. Their parents have significant others who are in and out of their lives. Which isn’t right or wrong. I get that.

I also understand the economics of it all. I am a divorced, single parent. It is simple mathematics. You cannot take ONE family income, divide it in two. Then provide for two separate households—and STILL provide for the children to the same standard as if two people remained together. And I guarantee that we parents cannot give our children as much of our time. We are simply pulled in too many directions.

So when events such as Aurora, Colorado come across the television. I’m thinking;

Where are we parents going wrong? What are we failing to give our children that they are capable of such monstrous actions? That we are raising such an angry generation of young people? What can we do better?

Because we need to do better. No doubt about it. And I include myself in that. Because I’m PART of raising another generation.

Our children ARE a reflection of us. If they are angry, sad, depressed, bitter, confused, needy—we are part of that.  Have helped create it. We are responsible for who/what our children become. Be it good. Bad. Or somewhere in between. They mirror us. They are our reflection.

Back to Colorado…

In the coming days, the facts will come out. And from my experience, people are generally good. They want to reach out, to help others, to comfort others. And so tragedy will pull another community together. No doubt, we’ll see the best of humanity. Which is a good thing.

It’s just a shame that it will have been born of another heartbreaking event.

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