- He molested young girls as a teenager. Several were his sisters; young ladies who didn’t so much as hug, let alone kiss their fiancée. There are varying accounts of how the situation was handled with police and the type of treatment provided Josh. Fourteen isn’t all that young. And molesting girls isn’t a normal part of sexual development.
- He is a liar and hypocrite. Unfortunately, people lie. This man built a career advocating for family values and his Christian faith; and was quite vocal in condemning others for their choices. All the while, he was hiding appalling behavior. Had he not been so critical of others, he there likely wouldn’t have been as much of a backlash over his failings.
- He had an Ashley Madison Account. Bad form considering his widely touted Christian values.
- His latest confessions: viewing pornography, sexual addiction, and cheating on his wife. Again, bad form considering his widely touted Christian values.
- He (and his parents) agreed to a television show knowing what was buried in the closet. He chose to be on the TV show, and pursued a public career, knowing that what he was hiding would destroy his wife and children, and publicly humiliate his family, siblings, nieces, and nephews. Let’s not forget this is news. There is no way to erase or delete the stories. His children will be able to look them up forever, read all about this. They will be taunted years from now, as will other family members.
- He and his family are reportedly in hiding. The leaked Ashley Madison data is probably going to get worse. What’s next? That it was actually child pornography? That the affair(s) were with underage girls? Anybody’s guess, but it can’t be good that he made a public statement admitting so much, so quickly. I get keeping the children out of the public eye, but he is an adult. As adults, cowards hide.
A Facebook posting written by Jessica Kirkland went viral over the weekend. Her letter to Anna Duggar was well written, powerful, raised some excellent points—whether one agrees with its sentiments, or not. I’d go a step further than teaching my daughter to “breathe fire” because I also want my son to understand what it means to be a man, and someday a father.
Link here for those who missed the post. Jessica’s Facebook is unavailable at the moment, but this is a link to an USMagazine.com article that shares the entire post.
This is where I’m going to get myself into trouble…
What about the children? Who is protecting the Duggar children?
These are very young children. And there is clearly something wrong with their father. Somewhere along the line, Josh’s sexual development went off track. There is obviously a psychological issue here, something deeper, needing addressed. Perhaps as a man, he should step away from his family (wife and children) and get himself right? Until he does, it’s unlikely he is equipped to raise four young children. Whatever treatment methods have been employed since Josh was fourteen, seem not to be working.
What about Anna?
Anna (at some point) learned of her husband’s teenage misdeeds. Now this man adds lies, betrayal, sexual addiction, infidelity, and only God knows what else? That’s a lot to cope with. Prayer and spirituality are powerful healers, but the pile of garbage dumped on Anna and her children is outrageous, emotionally devastating. However she is an adult woman, and deal with it she must, as it was her decision to join her life with Josh and bring the children into this world.
I’m not faulting her choices. But as a mother, her duty is to her children at this time. Period. Whether she chooses to stay married to her husband isn’t the biggest issue right now. Her first responsibility is to protect her children, possibly from their own father. At least until she gets her bearings, has time to sift through the facts and information, to figure out what exactly has been going on? She must be reeling. Anybody would be.
If I sound unsympathetic to Anna’s plight, I’m not.
After graduating college, I married young, had two children and was a stay at home mom for about 15 years. During those years, I didn’t have a career, never had a full time job—and maybe that wasn’t the smartest choice. I was cheated on, blindsided; know intimately how that type of betrayal affects a family. I was open to mending the marriage, but I couldn’t do it alone. I chose to walk away. I got a job, rented a house in the same town, packed up the children and dogs, and left. I filed for divorce, and the children and I embarked on quite the adventure. Our lifestyle changed drastically, but I’ve never regretted my choice. In the end, the children respected me for taking a stand. The deciding factor for me? Had I stayed in that situation, the example I would have set was not good enough for my son or daughter; I wanted more for them.
Anna needs to woman up–make her children the priority.
Doesn’t matter what her parents prepared her for, or whether she has a career. Doesn’t matter if she has four young children and raising them alone is hard. Doesn’t matter what others think of her. Her actions at this moment, today–are critical to her children’s futures. If I was Anna, I’d be praying for the strength to care for the children I chose to bring into this world. Their father has made the already difficult task of raising children that much harder.
For the moment, Josh can pray for himself. His actions created mayhem–for his wife and children, his family. It’s up to him to fix it, to get himself right. He is the ONLY person who can do that and it is going to take commitment, hard work…and time. Once he does that, decisions can be made about the future of the marriage. For now, who cares about Josh? He’s weak, a terrible example of manhood–and fatherhood.
And if Josh and Anna aren’t strong enough to do what needs done, then somebody best step in and champion those children for the time being.