Why? I Don’t Understand…

Why do the dogs get the coffee table confused with the floor?

The other day, the Dachshund was sitting on the coffee table. He hopped down, took a lap around the house and next thing I knew he was lounging on the coffee table??

dash 2 table

dash table

Things that belong on the coffee table:

Remote controls, books, magazines, the newspaper, snacks and drinks,  laptops…our feet.

Things that DO NOT belong on the coffee table:


And certainly not large, furry, 85+ pound Golden Retriever dogs…

rocky coffee tableRocky Dog is 9 1/2 years old. I thought he might be senile when he slowly, climbed  up there. (Daughter, Aunt Kate and I laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe…)  Nobody scolded him because he was so happy and proud–his tail wagged like crazy.

Of course, that might be the problem. Nobody scolded him. We were too busy laughing.

Our coffee table is old. It was in my house 35 years ago when I was a kid and I stripped the top and repainted the bottom years ago.

I was thinking of getting a new, pretty one.

But really, WHY?

If I did that, I might not be laughing. And I’d far rather be laughing…

HealthCare.gov, The Affordable Care Act and the Thirsty Horse

I’m the horse in this scenario–and I don’t mean to be…


There are millions of uninsured Americans. As of last month, I’m one of them.

I started researching health insurance options months ago, because I knew I would soon be losing my coverage. I spoke with doctors and health care professionals, read countless articles online, read through the HealthCare.gov website—yet I STILL can’t decide what to do.


1. COBRA: Per our divorce agreement, my ex-husband was to keep me on his plan as long as there was no extra charge to him. He insures our children, has a family plan that can include an ex-wife. The hitch? He cannot have two people in the “wife” slot. He’s remarrying soon, so I’m off the plan. Which is fine. I appreciated having it these past several years.

COBRA would be $605 per month and it’s available to me for up to 36 months.  I’d be looking at $7260 for the year, which sounds outrageous–but actually isn’t. It’s a United HealthCare plan, with medical, dental and prescription coverage. There is no deductible and everything is 100% covered.

healthcare gov2. MARKETPLACE: I haven’t officially signed up for a plan because I can’t find one that makes sense. Many plans have deductibles of $4500 to $6350–just for me. One person. Nothing would be covered until I reached the deductible; not prescriptions, procedures, copays, etc.

At a conservative $200 per month (most plans are more), I’d be paying $2400 per year in premiums for…NOTHING. Or at least nothing until I hit $6350. I could easily end up above the $7260 COBRA option. Dental and vision coverage would be an extra several hundred per month. Some of the plans are 80/20, even after the deductible is met. Lastly, premiums paid do not count towards the deductible.

SOME PLAN NAMES ARE FAMILIAR; Kaiser, SummaCare, Anthem Blue Cross & Blue Shield and Medical Mutual. (These are Ohio plans)

SOME ARE NOT; Molina Healthcare and CareSource were two I’d never heard of. When I called around to local hospitals and doctors offices, many of them were unfamiliar with them, as well.

From my understanding, physicians and medical facilities can choose which plans they accept. Molina Healthcare and CareSource seem to be the more budget friendly options (i.e. cheaper than others), which might mean that they’re the ones that pay less than the going rate for medical services. There are plans that pay 60% of what other (more expensive?) plans pay. I can’t imagine buying health insurance and then finding out nobody accepts it.

And who can blame them?

Doctoring is a business, as much as any other business. Physicians and medical facilities cannot see a slew of patients that they’re losing money on. No business keeps its doors open by losing money each time they sell a product or provide a service. Doctors are no different. They have overhead and they can’t operate in the red.

3. CONCIERGE MEDICINE:   A newer concept, but one that promises to see massive growth in the coming years. Doctors can have admitting privileges at a local hospital, but practice privately. These private practice physicians charge a monthly fee. The national average hovers at $100 per month. They don’t bill by patient office visits, so there is no incentive for packing the waiting room. They can email patients, speak with them over the phone, do group office visits–lots of leeway in providing care. Using this type of physician is acceptable under the Affordable Care Act, as long as people buy a policy covering medical catastrophes, such as emergency hospitalizations, treatment for illnesses, etc. (I would consider this, but I have only located one such doctor in the Cleveland area…)

4. REMAIN UNINSURED: This is a viable option. Office visits at my primary care physician run about $85. (They’re less at some walk-in clinics.) It’s doubtful I’ll visit my doctor every month. Prescriptions? I do take a few monthly medications that I’d need to pay for–but they wouldn’t be covered until I reached my deductible under the Marketplace plans. And I don’t think they could kick me out of the emergency room, if I needed care…

5. PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE: There are plenty of insurers that sell healthcare plans to individuals. It’s an option I need to explore.

6. FIND A NEW JOB: It’s been suggested that I find a job with a company that offers health insurance. Not as easy as it sounds! Smaller companies can’t afford to offer health insurance and often staff with part-time employees. The job market is competitive, making it difficult to snag the jobs with benefits. Also, most companies have scaled back benefits and upped the portion employees pay. And the biggie–I really, really like my job!!

7. WORK LESS HOURS: I don’t consider this an option, would never do this–but many will figure out how to get Medicare or Medicaid, even if that means reducing their hours to fall into the low-income category. Healthcare would be free and they might make up the loss in income by applying for food, rent and utility assistance.

understanding aca

Does anybody understand the Affordable Care Act?

I’m not criticizing it. It’s just too new and too complex to be easily understood. Any large-scale change begins with uncertainty, chaos and unknown variables. Health Care Reform is no different. This is simply the starting point…

The Affordable Care Act will likely see changes and revisions in the coming years. It will adapt to address problems, to fix areas that see failure. It won’t just affect the uninsured–it will end up affecting everybody in more ways than we can think of now. It will affect those working in medical professions, hospitals and doctors offices and those providing the medical community with products and services. It will affect economies in every community in our country.

Have I got something wrong? Anybody found a better solution?  PLEASE COMMENT so that we can learn from each other. I’m no expert. Just another person trying to figure this thing out…

I’m also (STILL) the damn horse. A little parched, but not ready to stick my head in the trough.


Crisis Mode & The Frosting on my Cupcake

white cupcakeMy brother stopped over for a visit a few days ago. He’s single.

He plopped down on the couch and treated Daughter and I to stories of his recent dating experiences. Naturally, he moved to the subject of me finding a man.

Beloved Brother: You’re 43 years old…you’re in CRISIS MODE.

Me: Huh?

Darling Daughter: You’re not getting any younger.

Daughter couldn’t help teasing me….

Crisis Mode?  I never thought of it that way.  I dated as a teenager. I started dating the man who became my husband in high school. I’ve dated since my divorce. I’ve spent almost my entire adult life WITH somebody, or married.

I think maybe taking time between relationships, time to recalibrate, might be underrated. I can’t be the only one enjoying a bit of ME time, right?

Because I love cupcakes, I’m going with the cupcake analogy:

I wake up happy every day. Love my children, family, friends, job, home and most days, my dogs. The right person would be the icing on the cupcake. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I’m not rushing to frost the cupcake. When it happens, it happens.

I haven’t been in a hurry…

But then I hadn’t realized I’d entered CRISIS MODE.

Not to worry, my brother softened the blow.

Beloved Brother: Really, you’re what most men are looking for…

Me: Huh?

Beloved Brother:  Your kids are about raised. You’ve got one away at college and the other is independent, almost out of the house.

Darling Daughter snickered.

Me (teasing Daughter): You’re a liability. Nobody really wants to deal with another person’s kids…

Darling Daughter: Thanks a lot.

My brother was oblivious to the insult he’d just delivered; agreed that no man wants  little kids, or even teenagers hanging around. He reassured me that mine were tolerable because of their ages, before moving on…

Beloved Brother:  You’ve got a job, you’re doing well. You’re not looking for somebody to take care of you. And you don’t want to get married again.

Me:  Right.

I was speechless, which is a rare thing. He did get me thinking though…

Daughter and I (left) and Son and my Brother (right)

Daughter and I (left two photos) and Son and my Brother (right

A second marriage? It’s never been a goal, or a driving force in my life. When I was in my twenties, I married for love, to have children, a home and to build a life with a man I expected to grow old with. I learned in my first go-around that marriage comes with no guarantee, doesn’t always keep a person faithful and committed. Just because people get married, doesn’t mean they stay married.

It wasn’t easy to get where I’m at now. My life works. For me and for my children. Of course, I would feel blessed to share my life with somebody special. But I think that might be enough. I’m not ruling out another marriage someday–but neither is it something I NEED to complete my life.

Thank you Beloved Brother for pointing out that I’m getting long in the tooth. Much appreciated. Your stories of online dating, divorce groups and such? Not making me eager to go down those roads. Not super inspiring.

What my brother calls CRISIS MODE, doesn’t exactly feel like a crisis to me.

I’ve been busy building a career, raising children, dating, socializing, spending time with family and friends–having fun.

And someday…perhaps a special person will happen along and it will be like frosting on a cupcake.

Snowstorms, Calamity Days…and Weather Reports

snowflakeI don’t understand weather reports anymore.

Used to be Dick Goddard, a Cleveland meteorologist, clad in his green sport coat and snazzy brown polyester pants, gave us an evening weather report on Channel 8 news.

It was fairly straightforward. Dick stood in front of a big map of Ohio. A giant cloud of green moving towards our area meant rain. A cloud of turquoise meant snow. This was followed by a large picture with potential snowfall amounts for local cities; 1-2 inches in one color, 3-6  in another color and so on.

There were red funnels for tornadoes and yellow sunshine graphics for sunny skies. Being Clevelander’s we knew “Alberta Clipper” and “Lake Effect Snow” meant potential school cancellations.

My father often joked that “Dick didn’t know di@k” about the weather headed our way, but we understood that Mr. Goddard did his best. Sometimes he was right on, sometimes not even close…

Enter better technology.

We have satellite views, fancy radars, more classifications and risk categories and very technical weather terminology in our weather reports, which is why I rarely watch them.


I don’t understand. I try, but when the weather people start talking, their lips are moving—and I have no idea what they are saying. I would need a glossary of terms from the weather channel to get it.

Dick Goddard is older and has long since retired, but he occasionally comes on TV… and rambles–He STILL makes more sense than the younger, more tech savvy meteorologists, who follow him with the ‘real’ weather report.

Because I don’t understand television weather forecasts, I’ve tried online reports and weather apps for my iPhone. Still no clarity.

And it might just be me. I might not be too bright.

After all, I’m the girl who is perpetually BEHIND the salt truck and IN FRONT of the plow.

While I don’t mind my children’s school being cancelled for a Snow Day—or what they now call a Calamity Day—the family vacation to Hilton Head, S.C. is booked for July. Given the amount of Calamity Days this year, I’m hoping my children aren’t STILL in school mid-summer.

I’m not well-informed on weather conditions in our area, but here’s what I know:

It’s been a snowy, cold winter. I didn’t leave the house yesterday, because when I looked out the windows, I could see a blizzard and the road did not appear plowed. Today isn’t great. Still cold. I don’t currently see a blizzard outside. So I’m going out to get some groceries, because I hear rumblings of more snow days this week. That means I need extra food in the house to keep the bottomless pit (my almost 6’2” teenager who is pushing 200lbs) fed. I haven’t watched the weather today—but cold temperatures produce ice, so I can ascertain the roads are slippery. I will drive slow. And I will take the bottomless pit to the store with me, so I get the right stuff.

Blizzard outside. Rocky dog is happy on the couch inside.

Blizzard outside. Rocky Dog is happy inside.

I also know not to let the dogs outside longer than it takes to do their business. We stand and wait, to make sure they are only out for a minute. No worries, they don’t hang around outside long.

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand? Or am I alone in this?

If anybody can recommend a weather app, website or TV station with a weather report I might be able understand, please comment on this blog.

My Life by the Numbers

I rarely posted to my blog in 2013. Sort of wimped out–I never stopped writing my thoughts, just stopped posting themnumbers.


There was too much upheaval, change and transition…

By the numbers:

ONE child graduated from high school and packed off to college. Big milestones for both parents, children and family. There’s final games, final concerts, the college decision, graduation festivities, parties and finally shopping/packing for college.

ONE child finished his freshman year in high school and started his sophomore year. He adapted to being the only child at home.  Also eventful, this child played three sports, earned a varsity letter as a freshmen starter in football and was a state qualifier in pole vault. He got his driver’s license in June, 2013. Exciting stuff!

TWO houses. We started 2013 in the white ranch house that I rented just after filing for divorce in 2009. Me moved to The School House in the summer of 2013. The move was traumatic because the kids and I created many happy memories in the white ranch house. Plus moving is a whole lot of work!! But it was time to move on. And The School House has already begun to have its own memories.

THREE jobs. Sigh. ..yes, I was employed by three different companies last year. I begun 2013 a marketing manager, then wrote obits for our local newspaper and finally landed my current position. Job change is stressful. It means new people, new routines, new computer systems, processes and going back to the beginning in some ways.

FOUR dogs. We had two dogs; Grace the mutt and Rocky the golden retriever. With the move came two more dogs. The School House’s owners are out of the country on a work assignment, so we kept their dogs. We now have a long-haired dappled dachshund and a tiny sprite named Lola.

ZERO marriages. I remain a single parent. (I haven’t remarried.) Which means its all on me to maintain a home, raise the children, mow the yard, pay the bills, etc.

ZERO vacations. I could really, really use a few days off work. The kids and I are looking forward to that happening in July, 2014. We’ll spend a week in Hilton Head, S.C.

I’D RATHER NOT COUNT trips made back and forth to daughters college, how few walks I took during the fall and winter, pounds gained from stress and lack of exercise,  time spent packing and unpacking and the number of dog hairs vacuumed.

The constant chaos kept me too busy to put my thoughts out there. Often, I had no idea what (if anything) I was thinking!

However, I miss posting to this blog, miss connecting with others—because I’ve formed some wonderful friendships through writing this blog. I plan to post regularly again.  

And I’m changing it up for 2014. After five years as a single parent, I’m ready to tackle issues I’ve steered away from in the past. Playing with Perfect  has always been light, relaxed, playful and positive. It still will be, because that’s my nature—who I am.

But I’ll also be writing about deeper issues that I’ve gotten increasingly passionate about in the past five years.


  • The realities of divorce, single parenting, its impact on children and families.
  • The working poor, the difficulties of going from homemaker into the workplace, the shortage of jobs and the challenges of establishing a job/career that can support a family.
  • Medical insurance, navigating Marketplace and Healthcare.gov and other options for getting health insurance. It’s common for employers to use part-time staff and not offer insurance. I’ll soon be without health insurance and I’ve been weighing my options.

Millions are dealing with similar challenges; it isn’t just me. I’ve noticed that many people don’t speak of them, are embarrassed, plagued by fear and/or a profound sense of failure at how off track their lives have gotten. And yet, talking about it eases the burden.

My writing style is my writing style. I tend to tackle the heavy stuff with humor. And please (continue to) excuse my incomplete thoughts, occasional grammatical errors and other imperfections. I’d love to be more Perfect–but in reality, that isn’t going to happen!

For now, I’m going to post at the beginning of each week.

I’d like to post more–but will begin with a manageable goal.

Welcome 2014!!